by Chris Wasil
Let me get this straight: all we’ve got are sights, sounds, feelings, tastes, and smells? There has to be more than that. No? Just those five? And we’re absolutely certain that we know things... merely because of various combinations of those five? To be perfectly honest, I’m not convinced.
6S
Chris Wasil is a die-hard Mets fan.
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query chris wasil. Sort by date Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query chris wasil. Sort by date Show all posts
20130204
20080414
To Die Not Laughing
by Chris Wasil
“What’s the deal with all the TV networks calling everything ‘Breaking News’ these days?” he asked. I tried desperately to force a laugh, secretly concluding that this was the lamest stand-up routine I’d ever heard. “Have you seen this – you put on CNN or MSNBC, and it’s always ‘Breaking News.’ What makes something ‘Breaking News,’ anyways – is it just ‘new’ news? Hey, I always figured that all news was new, otherwise they’d call it history!” Moments later, as I lay – a bloody, beaten mess propped against a bare wall in this lunatic’s basement – he put down the sledgehammer he’d been using as a microphone, bowed to his imaginary audience, and asked me with an odd sincerity, “So, what’d you think?” and I did my best to make laughing sounds through the gag in my mouth... and over the roar of his chainsaw starting up.
6S
Chris Wasil, currently in his second semester of law school, is a die-hard Mets fan. He's the author of Describe the Color Red.
“What’s the deal with all the TV networks calling everything ‘Breaking News’ these days?” he asked. I tried desperately to force a laugh, secretly concluding that this was the lamest stand-up routine I’d ever heard. “Have you seen this – you put on CNN or MSNBC, and it’s always ‘Breaking News.’ What makes something ‘Breaking News,’ anyways – is it just ‘new’ news? Hey, I always figured that all news was new, otherwise they’d call it history!” Moments later, as I lay – a bloody, beaten mess propped against a bare wall in this lunatic’s basement – he put down the sledgehammer he’d been using as a microphone, bowed to his imaginary audience, and asked me with an odd sincerity, “So, what’d you think?” and I did my best to make laughing sounds through the gag in my mouth... and over the roar of his chainsaw starting up.
6S
Chris Wasil, currently in his second semester of law school, is a die-hard Mets fan. He's the author of Describe the Color Red.
Posted by
Robert McEvily
20080424
The Discovery
by Chris Wasil
The moment her mind landed upon the idea, her heart ceased to pump blood and in its place pure dread rushed through her veins. The idea was that she had figured him out. And with that, scandalous images poured into her mind by the gallon and quickly filled the gaps where for weeks things hadn’t made sense. An overheard conversation, the indescribable look on his face, meaningless inconsistencies in his stories, that strange phone call. The impact of the tidal wave crashing down on her heart seemed to have no physical effect on her. She simply stood, frozen, staring right through the hotel receipt he had left in his coat pocket.
6S
Chris Wasil, currently in his second semester of law school, is a die-hard Mets fan. He's the author of To Die Not Laughing.
The moment her mind landed upon the idea, her heart ceased to pump blood and in its place pure dread rushed through her veins. The idea was that she had figured him out. And with that, scandalous images poured into her mind by the gallon and quickly filled the gaps where for weeks things hadn’t made sense. An overheard conversation, the indescribable look on his face, meaningless inconsistencies in his stories, that strange phone call. The impact of the tidal wave crashing down on her heart seemed to have no physical effect on her. She simply stood, frozen, staring right through the hotel receipt he had left in his coat pocket.
6S
Chris Wasil, currently in his second semester of law school, is a die-hard Mets fan. He's the author of To Die Not Laughing.
Posted by
Robert McEvily
20080527
Backwards Brian
by Chris Wasil
Brian never told anyone about the dreams he had. It’s not what you think; they weren’t violent, perverted or otherwise depraved – they were boring. Last night, Brian’s entire dream consisted of him sitting in the waiting room at the eye doctor’s office, where people flipped through magazines, tapped their hands to the quiet music, and looked at their watches every few seconds while the nurse periodically yelled out last names. The night before that, Brian dreamt he was shopping for conditioner at the pharmacy, couldn’t find his preferred brand, but then – to his delight – found that it was on sale for fifteen percent off. One recurring dream had Brian sitting in a crowded diner during his lunch break, eating a tuna sandwich that was a little dry, washing it down with a diet cola that was a little flat, and leaving a tip that he could tell the waitress considered a little small. The ironic thing was that his actual life was quite exciting; not only was Brian a famous quarterback slash astronaut, but he was also an international spy, had experienced amazing sex with both Marilyn Monroe and Cleopatra, and, despite his ability to fly, had a tendency to wind up in back in college completely unclothed and unprepared for his statistics exam.
6S
Chris Wasil, currently in his second semester of law school, is a die-hard Mets fan. His full catalog is here.
Brian never told anyone about the dreams he had. It’s not what you think; they weren’t violent, perverted or otherwise depraved – they were boring. Last night, Brian’s entire dream consisted of him sitting in the waiting room at the eye doctor’s office, where people flipped through magazines, tapped their hands to the quiet music, and looked at their watches every few seconds while the nurse periodically yelled out last names. The night before that, Brian dreamt he was shopping for conditioner at the pharmacy, couldn’t find his preferred brand, but then – to his delight – found that it was on sale for fifteen percent off. One recurring dream had Brian sitting in a crowded diner during his lunch break, eating a tuna sandwich that was a little dry, washing it down with a diet cola that was a little flat, and leaving a tip that he could tell the waitress considered a little small. The ironic thing was that his actual life was quite exciting; not only was Brian a famous quarterback slash astronaut, but he was also an international spy, had experienced amazing sex with both Marilyn Monroe and Cleopatra, and, despite his ability to fly, had a tendency to wind up in back in college completely unclothed and unprepared for his statistics exam.
6S
Chris Wasil, currently in his second semester of law school, is a die-hard Mets fan. His full catalog is here.
Posted by
Robert McEvily
20080623
To Err is Divine
by Chris Wasil
God woke up one Saturday, and halfway through His second cup of coffee He decided He was going to make a new world where no one ever made mistakes. “The problem,” said God to His cat, Jingles, “is that people just screw up too darned much! This time, I’m going to get it right.” So He sat down at His desk, an impressive, heavy-looking desk, the kind you would imagine God having, and He picked up His pencil and began drawing what this mistake-free world was going to look like. After a while, He realized that this new world would be a very boring place, where no mistakes meant no struggle, where no mistakes meant no pain, where no mistakes meant no triumph, and where people would probably forget to talk to Him once in a while. So He laughed to Himself for having such a silly idea, crumpled up His drawing, and accidentally spilled His coffee all over His desk with a yell: “Me damnit!”
6S
Chris Wasil, currently in his second semester of law school, is a die-hard Mets fan. His full catalog is here.
God woke up one Saturday, and halfway through His second cup of coffee He decided He was going to make a new world where no one ever made mistakes. “The problem,” said God to His cat, Jingles, “is that people just screw up too darned much! This time, I’m going to get it right.” So He sat down at His desk, an impressive, heavy-looking desk, the kind you would imagine God having, and He picked up His pencil and began drawing what this mistake-free world was going to look like. After a while, He realized that this new world would be a very boring place, where no mistakes meant no struggle, where no mistakes meant no pain, where no mistakes meant no triumph, and where people would probably forget to talk to Him once in a while. So He laughed to Himself for having such a silly idea, crumpled up His drawing, and accidentally spilled His coffee all over His desk with a yell: “Me damnit!”
6S
Chris Wasil, currently in his second semester of law school, is a die-hard Mets fan. His full catalog is here.
Posted by
Robert McEvily
20080510
Douggie
by Chris Wasil
Most people from my hometown have just one encounter with Douggie in their lifetime, but never more than one. They’ll see a fat, middle-aged retarded man, dressed in navy blue from head to toe, ride up to the little league field on his bicycle, and maybe they don’t walk away. He’ll yell hi at their faces, and they might awkwardly smile and say hi back, and if the conversation goes any further, chances are Douggie will offer to sing the theme to Green Acres for them, or pick his nose, or both. Then, around the same time his body odor hits their noses, he’ll probably reach his hand deep into the front of his sweatpants to scratch himself. He never, ever, picks up on their embarrassment, which they’ll always feel even though they’re not the ones violating every accepted rule of social grace. After that first experience, they know better than to stick around when Douggie rides up.
6S
Chris Wasil, currently in his second semester of law school, is a die-hard Mets fan. His full catalog is here.
Most people from my hometown have just one encounter with Douggie in their lifetime, but never more than one. They’ll see a fat, middle-aged retarded man, dressed in navy blue from head to toe, ride up to the little league field on his bicycle, and maybe they don’t walk away. He’ll yell hi at their faces, and they might awkwardly smile and say hi back, and if the conversation goes any further, chances are Douggie will offer to sing the theme to Green Acres for them, or pick his nose, or both. Then, around the same time his body odor hits their noses, he’ll probably reach his hand deep into the front of his sweatpants to scratch himself. He never, ever, picks up on their embarrassment, which they’ll always feel even though they’re not the ones violating every accepted rule of social grace. After that first experience, they know better than to stick around when Douggie rides up.
6S
Chris Wasil, currently in his second semester of law school, is a die-hard Mets fan. His full catalog is here.
Posted by
Robert McEvily
20081211
Anarchy
by Chris Wasil
No matter where I go or what I do, I can’t seem to get away from all this capitalism bullshit. I look around at this demented culture we’ve created, and it seems like everything’s for sale, and everyone’s a potential consumer. The so-called “free market” has enslaved the masses, has made us all cattle to the corporate prods. Me, I'm above all that. That's why I wear Anarchy® brand nose rings. Anarchy®: Show The World You Can't Be Controlled.
6S
Chris Wasil, currently buried in law school study, is a die-hard Mets fan. His full 6S catalog is here, and you can visit him on the 6S Social Network here.
No matter where I go or what I do, I can’t seem to get away from all this capitalism bullshit. I look around at this demented culture we’ve created, and it seems like everything’s for sale, and everyone’s a potential consumer. The so-called “free market” has enslaved the masses, has made us all cattle to the corporate prods. Me, I'm above all that. That's why I wear Anarchy® brand nose rings. Anarchy®: Show The World You Can't Be Controlled.
6S
Chris Wasil, currently buried in law school study, is a die-hard Mets fan. His full 6S catalog is here, and you can visit him on the 6S Social Network here.
Posted by
Robert McEvily
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