20080414

To Die Not Laughing

by Chris Wasil

“What’s the deal with all the TV networks calling everything ‘Breaking News’ these days?” he asked. I tried desperately to force a laugh, secretly concluding that this was the lamest stand-up routine I’d ever heard. “Have you seen this – you put on CNN or MSNBC, and it’s always ‘Breaking News.’ What makes something ‘Breaking News,’ anyways – is it just ‘new’ news? Hey, I always figured that all news was new, otherwise they’d call it history!” Moments later, as I lay – a bloody, beaten mess propped against a bare wall in this lunatic’s basement – he put down the sledgehammer he’d been using as a microphone, bowed to his imaginary audience, and asked me with an odd sincerity, “So, what’d you think?” and I did my best to make laughing sounds through the gag in my mouth... and over the roar of his chainsaw starting up.

6S

Chris Wasil, currently in his second semester of law school, is a die-hard Mets fan. He's the author of Describe the Color Red.

13 comments:

Jake said...

AWESOME! Totally killer surprise ending!

Steph said...

This sent chills up and down my spine!

Anonymous said...

Nice.

Joe said...

An intense read. Well done. I totally agree about the breaking news bit. The end was a surprise.

Marie Mosley said...

This six reminds me of my favorite bad comedian character, Rupert Pupkin. Funny and scary -- that's hard to do. Nice six!

Tammi said...

Excellent!

Molly said...

The change of tone here is staggering. Excellent sleight of hand, Chris.

lcyeiser said...

Oh. My. God.

Adam J. Whitlatch said...

Fantastic!! I love it! Shades of Patrick Bateman.

I want more! I'm gonna keep an eye on you, Chris!

Libby said...

OMG

Pure WIN.

LoveloveloveloveloveloveLOVE it!

Madam Z said...

I love it too! And the title is perfect.

Quin Browne said...

make 'em laugh.

Sayzars said...

WOW! this was amazing. I'm laughing how one is shocked and amazed at the same time.