Something's going on inside her head that makes her head pound daily, leaving me terrified of what is wrong; I'm a worrier and unanswered questions leave me breathless. The same old feeling of dread, there for as long as I can remember, makes my stomach cramp, my heart beat faster and a flash of heat floods my body. My mind always works from the most treacherous possibility backwards, never ending in a positive place. I know this leaves me useless to her; annoying her with endless phone calls to see how she's feeling, recommending possibly reasons for her pain or antidotes; I'm a nuisance that only makes things worse. My greatest joys, my worst nightmares - I'll never get this mothering thing down properly. I don't know how to be selfless; what was I thinking?
caccy46, whose full catalog is here, is a mother of two who's been married for 32 years.