Miss Pimm's Secret

by Jack Paton

Even though her face was obscured, Miss Pimm's secret was out. No one knew who started passing the sultry pictures around, but by the time the headmaster found out about them, there wasn't anyone at the school who could say they hadn't seen and gasped in utter shock at them. Left without a choice in the matter, the headmaster had to tell Miss Pimm she was immediately relieved of any further duties, and with a more than generous reference, Miss Pimm left the school without making any fuss to pursue other career avenues. The headmaster also debated long and hard about his position at the church as an Elder, before deciding that, regrettably, it was no longer something he wished to continue with. "I am," he said at the hastily arranged council, "more than a little disappointed that this parish would stoop so low and endorse such desperate and ungodly fundraising measures." As he made his way to the door a broken man, Albert Pimm could not look Miss Pimm, the church organist, in the eye, because it was she, his sister, who had hurt him the most by appearing in such a calendar.

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Jack Paton, author of Confounded, sometimes writes, sometimes doesn't; it depends on how good life is at the time. Click here for his sarcastic outlook.