The New Man

by Robert Clay

A long time ago, when men and women lived in caves, they had to make a decision as to who would do what. They held a meeting at which the woman wore a particularly short piece of fur, to decide who would stay in the cave and tidy up a bit, and who would go out and kill a mammoth with a pointed stick for dinner. The man, somewhat distracted by all the leg on show, got the mammoth task (pun very much intended). But one day he limped back into the cave, covered in blood but carrying a large portion of mammoth under his arm, to encounter a new phenomena, nagging. He was told he wasn’t pulling his weight, and after the hunt, he should help tidy up the cave and wash up the eating stones. The man agreed, but asked if the woman would help out at the next mammoth hunt, to which she replied, “Are you out of your tiny fucking mind?”


Robert Clay, whose full catalog is here, is a Seafarer now stranded on land. He lives in Cornwall in the UK.