by Ian Rochford

This is your brush. Hold tight, it will squirm! Sit beneath this hole, and when The Politician pokes his arse through, you will rotate the brush thus... then back the other way. Apply spin if necessary. You will then anoint The Politician’s gleaming ring with this, the Good Oil. This will make it palatable to all those who need to kiss it, or listen to what it has to say.


Ian Rochford, who entered our first contest with Shaping Atonement, is an unemployed Australian screenwriter (ostensibly of comedy) who recently rediscovered the pleasures of writing short stories. He is now plundering his fading memory for all the good ideas that came and went unrecorded, which probably accounts for the maddening inconsistency of his output.