20070628

Missing You

by Twizzle

He never thought about his family; he never considered calling or writing. At Christmas and holidays, he sat in his tiny room and watched reruns on an old, beat t.v. he’d found in the trash. A wire hanger twisted out of the top, reminding him every time he looked at it of a rabbit’s ears after an anvil has been dropped on its head. If he thought at all, and it is unclear if he ever did, it was to think of his cat. Sometimes he would think of its tiny calico face and wonder if it was okay. But then he would roll over, and the thought would disappear from his head, drummed out by the static from the old t.v.

6S

Twizzle lives in New Hampshire and is working on her first novel. More importantly, she wants to be Philip Roth when she grows up. Except for that whole being a guy thing.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Your sardonic description painted the vivid picture of a character that, in longer story, could go in any direction that involved up. I really liked this ... good work!

Jon

Anonymous said...

twiz-you're making me sad. great sentences. change a think and an old and it's perfect. hope you finish his story. steve

Ellen "EJ" Sackett, said...

I know this man, everything before him and what comes next if his life continues as is. Your six sentences say it all. Sadly, too many people live this kind of sorry, sad existence. Like Jon, I hope that you will develop this into a longer piece, where something triggers him into something more. Good luck!

madam z said...

Jon, Steve and Ellen said it all, and I heartily agree with them. I particularly love Twizzle's description of the t.v. antenna, "a rabbit's ears after an anvil has been dropped on its head."

Anonymous said...

My dearest Twizzle, when will you ever learn? Phillip Roth would make a pretty ugly girl. I love your writing, always have. And if I know you, he gets a new cat. Right? Am I right or what? Sucker for happy endings, you are. Auntie David

Anonymous said...

twizzle, your writing continues to shine! I look forward to reading more of anything and everything you will write.
Ethel

Anonymous said...

What a lost and lonely soul this character is, but you do offer the faint glimmer of hope that it is not too late for him to turn his life around.
Great stuff twizzle, Gillian

mgirl said...

I wonder where his cat is? Great six, twizzle! Can't wait to read more.

Anonymous said...

Awesome writing as usual, Twizzle! You say so much about this poor soul in six sentences. You are a great writer! Love, MJ

twizzle said...

thx everyone...yes, he gets a new cat. His sister has the old one. :)

writerwoman said...

I like the part about if he thinks. That really says it all about how are minds are turning off these days as we drown in the light of the boob tube.

Love the voice and style of this story.

Sometimes they call me Kelley, sometimes Twizzle. Sometimes a lot worse. said...

sigh...if I'd known the editor was going to start a most discussed list I would have done what Ethel did...write about President Bush (giggle--just kidding Ethel) or thongs. jeez.