Men in Suits

by Diane Bossotti

These men in suits, coming in from the suburbs, where they live on tree-lined streets with wives who stay home "by choice" and children who wave little flags at Memorial Day Parades... These men in pin stripes and dark blues who have careers in finance or marketing or sales, who march through Penn Station from the far corners of Long Island and New Jersey... I watch as these men reach into the metal garbage pails that dot the station, grasping at discarded newspapers for their subway rides uptown or down. I watch as they tuck these found papers under their arms and proceed on their way. I want to scream at these men that garbage cans + newspapers = garbagepapers, stained with coffee, stuck together with gum (or worse). Oh, Men of LIRR and NJT, please spend the 50 cents and buy yourselves some NEW papers.


Diane Bossotti, author of Random Band-Aid, hates Suits who dive into trash cans, as well as wads of spit in the middle of the sidewalk and people who swing those metal-tipped, pointy umbrellas as they walk, threatening to poke and jab the people behind them.