It’s Conditional, Baby

by Sarah Gokhale

If it takes 300 licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop, how many beers will it take to poison the center of my unborn fetus? If I have six beers and two shots a day, resulting in a miscarriage within two weeks, will I be ready to take the LSAT in September? November, at latest? If I write only in conditional statements, will it improve my score? If I score a 175, will my dad get kinder, softer, dare I say proud? If my dad is proud of me, do I still have to be a lawyer?

6S

Sarah Gokhale is a producer from Orange County, California. Her favorite condiment is Trader Joe’s jalapeno sauce. Her dog’s favorite condiment is cream cheese. Her favorite cities are NYC, Albuquerque, and Philly.