Marvin the Monkey

by Dan Fine

At TikTok HQ, Marvin the monkey wore tiny blue light glasses and typed furiously with his tail. He’d been hired after an AI accidentally flagged his viral dance video as “too human” and a recruiter got curious. Marvin became the unofficial mascot of the algorithm department, sipping oat milk lattes and debugging code between banana breaks. His coworkers adored him—partly because he was brilliant, and partly because he once flung a stapler at the VP during a poorly received rebrand pitch. One day, he disappeared without a trace, leaving only a sticky note that read: “Real connection > engagement metrics.” Legend has it he now lives in Bali, dancing with the locals, finally free.

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Dan Fine is a Brooklyn-based copywriter, occasional poet, and full-time observer of the absurd.