How did they build the pyramids?

by JS O’Keefe

It had come to the Pharaoh’s attention that ten-to-fifteen percent of his subjects were depressed. His prime minister pointed out that due to the widespread use of Roman machinery people had become plump and lazy, and some of them were completely inactive physically. He suggested to conscript the worst cases into the army where strenuous physical training and bloody battles would help alleviate their murky consternations. The Pharaoh didn’t want the depressos in the army but liked the idea about hard physical labor: round them up, send them out to collect all the rocks, boulders, stones, pebbles they can find, carry them to some place in the desert and build a nondescript structure to be called Pile of Rocks. The prime minister promised to start the project at the crack of dawn but suggested that a better sounding name might be good for morale. The Pharaoh agreed again and after some deep thinking decided to use a made-up word: P-Y-R-A-M-I-D.

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JS O’Keefe is a citizen of Pennsylvania. He is a scientist and published short-story/prosimetrum writer.