Oh, So You're the Quick One

by Jake Kilroy

Mary came home annoyed. "Gerald, you didn't even try to mow the lawn," she said, raising her voice. Gerald scoffed and, with eloquent sarcasm, replied, "That's because I was making hummus, Mary." Ah yes. The hummus. It would certainly be a long night of fighting.


Jake Kilroy, contrary to popular belief, was not raised by handsome wolves. Instead, he was brought up by his nuclear family to lead a radioactive life in Orange County, California.