Two Penises

by Adam Humphreys

Last night I dreamed that I had two penises - a half inch apart, one beside the other. The right penis was slightly larger than the left, but neither looked very useful. Playing with them, holding them between three fingers like a man carrying two bottles of beer by their necks, I realized how massively incorrect this was. I thought of my girlfriend. Why had she never said anything? I felt gratitude towards her for loving me in spite of my flaws.


Adam Humphreys turns 26 soon, lives in New York, writes a music column here, and keeps a blog.