Self-Esteem Issues

by Don Pizarro

Some party. Look at her. Here I am, third weekend in a row, watching her go through her sixth frat brother. She'll regret it tomorrow morning like she always says she does, and for good reason. One guy was missing eyeteeth, and the moron she's grinding on now is missing chromosomes. Which forces me to ask: how come she never throws herself at me?


Don Pizarro is the author of You Were a Champion in Her Eyes. His writing has also appeared online at McSweeney's, American Nerd, and Byzarium.