I’ve Seen It All!

by Joe Julian

Lissen up, now! I've been to THREE county fairs, fought in a war, been immunized, been to a brandin', seen a human baby born, seen a naked woman besides my wife, been married only once, saw John F. Kennedy in person, been on trial once, drove over a hunnert miles an hour, stood atop a mountain, been in a car wreck, smoked cigarettes, had my appendix out and rode a boxcar all the way to Olympia, WA. I've attended an opera, rode a horse, drank whiskey straight from the bottle, swum nekkid in the river, been in a submarine, held a hummingbird in my hand, drove a truck, clumb a radio tower, flown a helicopter, had a boy and a girl child and sung on stage. But friends and neighbors, I ain't NEVER seen before what I'm about to tell you now. You know how youngsters today spray paint their initials on poles and buildings and bridges, called "Tagging”? Last Sattidy, (an' I swear it's true), I saw a "tagged" cow: spray painted initials right on her flank -- I can die knowing that now I've seen it all.


Joe Julian is a telecommunications equipment installer, an old geezer and a wanna-be writer.