Glitch

by Brad Rose

For eons, I’ve been trying to get next to you, but since that teleportation accident, only one severed leg has gotten through. I’ve re-installed the facial recognition software and even added an industrial-strength fog machine, but so far, no luck. Out on the astroturf, now, I’m mowing my jelly-green plastic lawn. A tidy domestic appearance, I’m told, is a sure sign of well-groomed mateability. If my best friend was having this problem, know what I’d advise him? Get a sharper blade.

6S

Brad Rose's latest book is I Wouldn’t Say That, Exactly.