20100806

Eulogy for Beatrice Stitchens

by Annie Neugebauer

No one ever thought the knitting would become a problem. I mean, everyone has hobbies, right? But in the next three years, Beatrice was overwhelmed with an addiction to the yarn. She relished the feel of those tiny fibers slicked down by sweaty palms, the lithe clinking of the aluminum needles tapping and parting in a rhythm that she soon found she craved—no, needed—in order to stay sane. By the time people realized it was a problem, it was too late: she’d knitted over all of the windows and doors. Which is what brings us here today, to mourn Beatrice Stitchens, who in an uncanny accident, fell down the stairs onto her knitting needles and was unable to call the ambulance for assistance, as by then, she’d knitted down the phone.

6S

Annie Neugebauer is a novelist, poet, blogger, and all-around dabbler of writing. She has poetry upcoming in the Wichita Falls Literature and Art Review, Texas Poetry Calendar 2011, and Volume III of Versifico. Check out more of her words here.

10 comments:

R.S. Bohn said...

LOL! Now that's an image and that's a story.

Chantal said...

Clever! I like it!

E.W. said...

Beautiful remark on how unique addiction can be, and yet still deadly. Loved it.

Grey Johnson said...

I love what E.W. said about addiction. Beatrice's insulated and isolated her like other addictions do, too. Great six, Annie.

Ann Graham said...

Very nice, Annie.

Payton L. Inkletter said...

I was laughing well before I got to the end of your piercingly witty six sentences, Annie.

My wife spins, knits, and even crochets, and I had no idea to what depths the habit could lead an otherwise well-meaning soul. She will be reading this timely warning.

Did Beatrice knit a doily for her coffin perchance?

Geetali Sharma said...

Nice! Loved it!

One Woman's Thoughts said...

I am still smiling at the image.

Joe said...

GREAT imagery and story.

Sue Stone said...

As someone who owns more knitting needles than many craft stores, I really was amused! Excellent capturing the addiction!