by Jake Kilroy
Mary came home annoyed. "Gerald, you didn't even try to mow the lawn," she said, raising her voice. Gerald scoffed and, with eloquent sarcasm, replied, "That's because I was making hummus, Mary." Ah yes. The hummus. It would certainly be a long night of fighting.
Jake Kilroy, contrary to popular belief, was not raised by handsome wolves. Instead, he was brought up by his nuclear family to lead a radioactive life in Orange County, California. Jake, 24, graduated from Cal State Fullerton with a degree in print journalism and a minor in political science. (You may know him from fancy dinner parties in your area. He is often the only one to bring licorice to such gala events.)