Oh, So You're the Quick One

by Jake Kilroy

Mary came home annoyed. "Gerald, you didn't even try to mow the lawn," she said, raising her voice. Gerald scoffed and, with eloquent sarcasm, replied, "That's because I was making hummus, Mary." Ah yes. The hummus. It would certainly be a long night of fighting.


Jake Kilroy, contrary to popular belief, was not raised by handsome wolves. Instead, he was brought up by his nuclear family to lead a radioactive life in Orange County, California. Jake, 24, graduated from Cal State Fullerton with a degree in print journalism and a minor in political science. (You may know him from fancy dinner parties in your area. He is often the only one to bring licorice to such gala events.)