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No Words are Adequate

by Linda Simoni-Wastila

Night thrums; the gentle breaths of my husband swell the dark, his exhalations sweet luxuries kindling worries of whether to bring biscuits with ham, fried chicken from Lexington Market, or a casserole of green beans and frizzled onions. Lying here, I imagine you swallowed in an infinite expanse of cooled white, your pulse a ticking reminder goading you to rise, wander shadowed rooms to salvage vestiges: the half-full mug on the counter, the flannel shirt smelling of his cologne, the crumpled towel, still-damp from this morning’s shower. With more air left uninhaled, the house must seem larger now. My bedside clock blares a digital four-oh; across our yards your bedroom light shines, a single yellow oblong piercing this darksome morn. I want to tread the hoar-bitten blades spanning us and gather you, piece you together, tell you all will be righted, but when his heart shattered in airless spasm, yours must have, too. This is what I want to do, but no crimson yet smudges the horizon, so instead I creep down my stairs and write this offering: for you, for your son, for me, as if these words matter a goddamn.

6S

Linda Simoni-Wastila wishes words were adequate to convey life's calamities. She writes from Baltimore, mostly novels and poems and micro-mini fiction, and muses on the mind and writing here. (This offering is in memory of James, whose presence was larger than life.)

20 comments:

DeborahB said...

Ah, you put words to the unspeakable. Nice.
Deborah

Kevin Michaels said...

Beautifully done.
Such depth, heartache, and pain in each sentence - with each read this gets stronger and takes on new meaning.(each time better than the last) You have done an exceptional job of using words to convey the pain/loss in life. Absolutely one of your best!
K

JohnOBX said...

Poignant.

J. M. Strother said...

A very moving piece, Linda. Truth in every word.
~jon

Anonymous said...

Sad, moving piece Madame. Thank you. JTP

Kim said...

Another excellent example of deep meaning wrapped in beautiful writing.

kingac said...

Linda... Sorry for your loss, and what an amazing tribute...

Cat said...

Linda this was heartbreakingly brilliant!

Autumn Heartsong said...

Words do matter and yours are so powerful.

NNC Steve said...

Wow. You've captured that deep human connection between those we know, and those we come to know further after tragedy.

Margie said...

Hey Linda...I've been trying to post a comment but it ain't working. I don't know why I have so much problems with these things. I will keep trying. Anyway, what a beautiful, touching piece you wrote. Very moving. Your words really capture the emotional torment of dealing with a lost loved one. Bravo! Marguerite

Joe said...

Achingly beatiful and heart- wrenching. One of the best you've ever done or anyone has ever done. Some have taken a book to say what you've said more eloquently in just six sentences. An achievement.

Anonymous said...

Linda, this is heartfelt and beautiful all wrapped up in such a small group of words. Good job, Dear Lady. Sorry, for your loss.


Jeanette Cheezum

Book Report said...

This piece of writing is deeply moving, I was deeply touched. It's nice and words really aren't enough but your words covey a clear message. I write essays and I'm looking forward to create something like this.

Anonymous said...

Heart-rending and clear. A beautiful piece of work.

Theresa

Linda said...

Thank you all for reading and commenting. I am honored. Peace, Linda

Laurita said...

Linda, this was absilutely heart-rending. Your last sentence was a masterpiece. I am sorry for the loss that inspired this six.

cindy said...

so well written and moving, linda. thank you. words aren't enough at moments like this--yet we still want to write to express ourselves somehow...

marye.ulrich said...

Linda, to say your writing is beautiful seems to trivialize the power of your loss and your sorrowful message.

However, I bet your friend will always treasure this gift of words.

"I want to tread the hoar-bitten blades spanning us and gather you, piece you together, tell you all will be righted, but when his heart shattered in airless spasm, yours must have, too." the images are amazing and touching.

One quote that always helps me is, "Look at what you have left, not at what you have lost." (R. Schuller)

You have your shared memories and the friendship that brought you together. Wish I could give you a hug.

Mary

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