6 Things I’ll Never Be

by Michelle Davis

I will never be the host of a talk show patting people on the back, giving them my shoulder to cry on because life has been hard for them... because my motto is Get up off your ass and move on - no one will do it for you! Nor will I ever be the next American Idol because even if I could sing, I could never face the music of Simon’s brutal honesty, Paula’s pseudo sympathy, Randy’s hidden laughter, and Kara’s “What the fuck?” face. I will never be the soap star who spends her life falling in and out of love like the die-hard fans change their bed sheets. I will never be on the cover of Sports Illustrated or inside any of its pages... too many children... too many stretch marks... too many scars... the world isn’t ready for that kind of reality! I will never be that writer... that bestseller that causes people to stand in lines for days just to get that first copy... clawing, biting, inching their way to the front... that will never be me. But then, I will also never be that wet blanket suffocating dreams left and right by saying that little, five letter word... because never is a very long time.


Michelle Davis lives in Arkansas with a houseful of men, teaches all across the state everyday from her desk, and is never sure what is going to happen next in her vida loca.