by Rod Drake
When Sal played Guns N’ Roses’ “Sweet Child O’ Mine” for the 17th time in a row, his roommate Dean lost it. Dean popped the CD out of the CD player and tossed it forcefully out the window of their third-floor apartment. Sal, in shocked response, dumped his bowl of Green Mice ice cream onto Dean’s head. Dean, ice cream dripping down onto his shoulders and pooling in his ears, grabbed the squeeze bottle of McKean’s chocolate syrup from the counter and proceeded to empty it inside Sal’s sweatpants. From there, it was one-upsmanship as played by the Three Stooges, getting ever more inventive and progressively more dangerous. The standoff finally ended when Sal had to drive Dean to the emergency room to get a fork removed.
Rod Drake never had a roommate experience like this, but knows people who have. Check out his longer stories in Fictional Musings, Flashes of Speculation, Flash Forward, MicroHorror and Powder Burn Flash.