by Adam J. Whitlatch
I have read and carefully evaluated your rejection, and would like to express my condolences for your failure to jump onto the Harry Potter / J.K. Rowling Money Machine and for your lingering bitterness. Based on your rejection I can see I am not the best author for your agency as my work possesses too much merit and integrity. Please forgive this form letter, as my workload prevents me from personalizing every single letter. I wish you the best of luck in your search for recycled, rehashed drivel. Remember, every rejection brings you that much closer to your precious 15%.
Random Author Whose Name You Couldn't Be Bothered To Learn
Adam J. Whitlatch is currently seeking an agent to represent his science fiction novel E.R.A. - Earth Realm Army. He'd like to dedicate this piece to every writer who has ever poured their heart and soul into a query letter only to be rewarded with the dreaded "Dear Author" letter. Adam lives in southeast Iowa with his wife, Jessica, and their two sons. (His full 6S catalog can be found here.)