Backwards Brian

by Chris Wasil

Brian never told anyone about the dreams he had. It’s not what you think; they weren’t violent, perverted or otherwise depraved – they were boring. Last night, Brian’s entire dream consisted of him sitting in the waiting room at the eye doctor’s office, where people flipped through magazines, tapped their hands to the quiet music, and looked at their watches every few seconds while the nurse periodically yelled out last names. The night before that, Brian dreamt he was shopping for conditioner at the pharmacy, couldn’t find his preferred brand, but then – to his delight – found that it was on sale for fifteen percent off. One recurring dream had Brian sitting in a crowded diner during his lunch break, eating a tuna sandwich that was a little dry, washing it down with a diet cola that was a little flat, and leaving a tip that he could tell the waitress considered a little small. The ironic thing was that his actual life was quite exciting; not only was Brian a famous quarterback slash astronaut, but he was also an international spy, had experienced amazing sex with both Marilyn Monroe and Cleopatra, and, despite his ability to fly, had a tendency to wind up in back in college completely unclothed and unprepared for his statistics exam.

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Chris Wasil, currently in his second semester of law school, is a die-hard Mets fan. His full catalog is here.