20080418

RIP

by Catherine Van Alstine

There was no denial of it, there was no covering it up, there is only the raspy, labored breaths and the harsh reality that all that lives must end one day, and bitterly underneath that was the fact that I cannot change it, I can only witness it. My husband is driving like a bat out of hell and talking but I do not hear him because I am lost in my storm of desperate and maddening thoughts while Boo stands in the backseat trying to balance himself in the middle, sticking his Bulldog face up between the front seats. He is drooling like never before and now there are secretions coming from his nose, as I wipe at them I wonder if this is how it ends, drowning in his own fluids? I look out the front window crying like a child for a moment, in an attempt to escape this ache in my heart but then sucking in a deep breath and unbuckling my seat belt I kneel on the passenger side seat so that I am facing into the back where Boo looks at me, stops pacing and for the first time in 24 hours lays down. I put my hands on him and he is still breathing as I begin to softly talk to him of how I love him and how wonderful he is, I plead for him to hang on a little bit longer, we are almost there I tell him, attempting to reassure myself. Within less than a minute, I realize he has stopped breathing, he won’t respond to me, not my voice, not my touch, he is gone and I am changed forever.

6S

Catherine Van Alstine uses writing as a tool to learn about herself, people, and the world around her.

6 comments:

chriswasil said...

Well this is a first. All it took was six sentences to make me misty-eyed. Beautifully written, Catherine.

Poor Boo :(

Madam Z said...

Oh, so sweet and touching! I too am "misty-eyed." But I think he was LUCKY BOO, because he was so loved, right up to his last breath.

reynolds said...

Touching and very well written.

Anonymous said...

This was lovely, touching and beautifully written. We buried our "Boo" several years ago, and I can still feel her curling up beside me.

caccy46
Caroline Wells

Shadow said...

beautiful yet so so sad. bring back some of my own memories there...

Tara Lazar said...

Awww, poor Boo! This was really sweet and touching.