I Should Know Better

by Slowly Understanding

I saw other girls talk to you, laugh with you, and thought smugly, I know him better. Which was true; I did know you better – we were best friends full of daily conversations starting with Just wanted to say hi and Guess what I just saw, and ending 40 minutes later with why you were scared when your mother dropped you off at your first dance in seventh grade. I had the key to the inner workings of the guy every girl wanted. And then before we could control it, after fights and reconciliations and fights and resignations, there was pretense and old habits and an imperceptible change and longing – I long – to go back. But you, as the "key holding inner working knowing girl" knew you would, moved on - the winds blew and carried you to a new best friend, another girl who gets to just say hi and guesses what you just saw and learns that you fought with your mother yesterday. Another girl who then sees me talk to you, laugh with you, and thinks smugly, I know him better.


Slowly Understanding is understanding much too slowly.