My Obsession with Tricia Helfer

by Joe Popper

First, hello, thanks for reading (I appreciate it), and let me say – in the hopes of avoiding a barrage of “you suck” comments – that I am not married, am not currently seeing anyone, so (I personally feel that) what I’m about to confess is in no way deceptive or disgusting. Second, full disclosure: I am writing this anonymously for obvious reasons; my name is not Joe Popper, my real name is Forrest Tannenbaum (which is a secret, so don’t tell anyone). Third, my rationale: I believe confession is good for the soul, but I also believe random confessions, especially to the wrong recipients, are just plain weird and annoying, so in confessing this (with “this” being defined as “my obsession with Tricia Helfer”), I wanted to do it in an appropriate place, and since Ms. Helfer is an actress who portrays a cyborg named “Number Six” on Battlestar Galactica, I did a Google search on the number six, and found this very site, Six Sentences, and thought, that’s absolutely perfect! Then, while searching further, I became insanely jealous when I found this picture and this picture. Those goddamn lucky bastards! Yes, okay, I admit it: I masturbated to the pictures anyway, but those two fucking dorks really wrecked the overall vibe.

6S

Joe Popper's fake real name is Forrest Tannenbaum. He is genuinely obsessed with Tricia Helfer.