Self-Esteem Issues

by Don Pizarro

Some party. Look at her. Here I am, third weekend in a row, watching her go through her sixth frat brother. She'll regret it tomorrow morning like she always says she does, and for good reason. One guy was missing eyeteeth, and the moron she's grinding on now is missing chromosomes. Which forces me to ask: how come she never throws herself at me?


Don Pizarro is the author of You Were a Champion in Her Eyes. His writing has also appeared online at McSweeney's, American Nerd, and Byzarium.


Madam Z said...

I enjoyed this 6 so much, I will reward you by giving you the answer to your question.

"Why doesn't she throw herself at (you)?" Because you have too many eyeteeth and chromosomes, silly boy!

Don P said...

Why, thank you, Madam Z! The compliment was about the only thing that helps the self-esteem, though ;).

roger daubach said...

because you'd treat her the way she wants to be treated. but, mystifyingly, that's not enough for a lot of girls.

and no, i'm not bitter about that at all =]

Don P said...

Hah...I guess my story's the sequel to yours, huh? ;)

silves said...

:you've made me a bit of a liar...i just told "what she knew before nothing" author hers was the best i read all day, then i scroll down and you've strung together thse 6 sentences and i have to write and tell you::

Don P said...

Why, thank you :)