On Being Fat

by Miz Yin

The woman leaned carefully over the toilet; she didn't quite understand why she was doing it anymore; she'd lost all that weight; she should stop; she knew that it wasn't healthy, but she couldn't stop. She couldn't stop her finger from sliding into her mouth, down her throat; she retched into the bowl. I could have gone anorexic, she thought; she retched again, I didn't need to start puking. The acid burned her throat, but she kept puking; it will never be good enough; I'll never be skinny enough to stop; I know this is a disorder, I know it, but I can't stop any more than I could stop eating altogether. The tears slid down her face as she tried to stop puking, but it seemed impossible. Finally, the retching stopped, and she gripped the bowl until her knuckles turned white, I need to get some help.


Miz Yin, author of Too Shy, is a 19 year old college student hoping to one day become a freelance translator with some noveling on the side.