20071017

The Man Who Held On To a Tree

by Bob Jacobs

I came across a man clinging to a tree by the side of the road - eyes shut, arms wrapped around the trunk, body pressed against the bark - and asked him what the matter was. "Gravity," he gasped, "it's stopping, can't you feel it?" I placed my arm gently around his shoulders and reassured him that gravity is constant so there was nothing to fear, until, comforted, he thanked me, shook my hand and set off down the road. That's when gravity stopped. I clung to the tree and watched him float away screaming. "I'm sorry," I whispered, and in a funny way I almost meant it.

6S

Bob Jacobs, author of My Side of the Bed, lives in the south-east of England with his wife and kids and Sony Vaio. In his spare time he likes to lie motionless on his back, whistling and staring at clouds.

9 comments:

Madam Z said...

Bob, you're a genius! I'll try to remember your line, "gravity is constant so there (is) nothing to fear," when gravity does stop, and I happen to be in a place where there's nothing to cling to except one, already clung to, tree. Thank you! And, if you're the guy clinging, and I have to pull you off, well..."I'm sorry."

Note: I LOVE SIX SENTENCES, especially yours!

Bud Ugly said...

While it all floats up, I'll be looking what's under the girls' skirts.

Anonymous said...

Bob J. is the coolest.

Baby Island said...

"I was almost sorry"...
Fabulous line. Very funny 6 sentences, from a novice.

Baby Island said...

Oops, not thinking tonight..

"I almost meant it" was the line that killed me..

Many apologies for misquoting. I'll blame the wine.

Bob Clay said...

I've taken to carrying a sink sucker about with me... but knowing my luck, I'd be caught on grass.

Sara said...

How fantastic! I love the image of him floating away.

bob clay said...

The more I think about this story the more I worry. My sink sucker won't work, because air pressure is created via gravity, the weight of air !!


Hell ! ... you've given me a phobia .. :-}

Bob Jacobs said...

Many thanks for the comments.