by Chris Conroy

Take the bread out of the bag, two slices, any kind of bread — rye, whole wheat, white, multi-grain, Italian, French, homemade (homemade bread doesn’t come in a bag so you’ll have to put it in one and then you’ll also, after taking the loaf out of the bag, have to slice it, figure an inch thickness, give or take but you could run into problems later) — and drop them (the slices) into the toaster slots (too thick a slice of homemade bread may not fit into the slots, adjust accordingly) and push down the lever so the slices disappear between the coiled heaters. Many of the more modern toasters come with a lightness/darkness feature. It’s usually a knob that you can turn from 1 to 10. 10 being the darkest of toast, and 1 being the lightest. Your bread is toast when it pops up out of the slots and in view. It’s a common practice to spread butter or jam over your toast but there are no rules when it comes to stuff like that, put whatever you want on it — your toast — and then eat it.


Chris Conroy, who taught us Newton's Law, writes after breakfast and before lunch.