Seven Years of Marriage

by Alana Wilson

You no longer stay awake just to watch me breathing, rather you sleep so you don’t have to hear me snoring. I have bags under my eyes and now, also, attached to my thighs. My breasts are flat; I breastfed too long, they used to find support in a bra, now they find support in my thong. I woke up this morning and found you sleeping on the floor, when I asked you why, you claimed I was a “bed whore.” I can carry more groceries in one load than anyone I know, but that’s because I am lazy and slow. You can try to bitch and complain about what I have become, but the truth is, you haven’t looked in a mirror lately either; have you my low-life scum?!?


Alana Wilson was very happily married for seven years and then year eight came, and... (no, she's kidding). She has a fantastic husband and two great kids. She's a full-time student, mother, wife, homemaker, and caretaker to her elderly great-grandmother with Alzheimers.


Gina Perry said...

A lovely six, really touching and funny at the same time.

Mister Mxyzptlk said...

Read enough blogs and you'll see the truth in this piece. But never as well and succinctly put as you did.

Quin said...

so many of us can relate

Alana said...

I appreciate your comments. Thank you.

cosmicrayola said...

Wonderful! I couldn't have put it better!

jewgirl said...

you are one eloquent dame, kid.

Shaindel said...

So, Alana,

Do you get extra credit for this one since it was *technically* published before the school-year started? ;-)

You over-achiever, you. See you in class!


Madam Z said...

Alana, there's something about mirrors that reflects different images for women and men. A woman looks in the mirror and sees all her flaws. A man looks in the mirror and sees that he still looks pretty darned good.

I will try to remember your amusing post next time I'm confronted with my reflection. It'll make me smile, which always looks better than a frown.