Felling Time

by Madam Z

Sadie goes to the gym three times a week, whether she wants to or not, and she never wants to. But she must, since it’s a major part of her obsessive strategy to slow down the ravages of Time, which continues to march on, of course, but it least she’s making him march uphill. She also dyes her hair flame-red, which is like waving a red flag at Time, but, thanks to her thrice-weekly workouts, she is able to bob and weave quite nimbly and she is hopeful that if she keeps it up, she may succeed in exhausting Time and perhaps even stick a sword or two into his glistening hide. And her own hide glistens as well, since she slathers it daily with sundry “age-defying” oils, crèmes and butters, to the point that she can slip into and out of her clothes quite effortlessly. Sometimes, especially when confronted by an almost uncontrollable urge to consume great quantities of chocolate cake with thick, butter-cream frosting topped with crème-filled chocolate truffles, Sadie wonders if she should just give it up and grow old gracefully. But then she looks at her handsome, much-younger husband, sighs deeply, and heads for the gym.


Madam Z, author of Driving Me Crazy, likes Six and isn't afraid to admit it.


Anonymous said...

I saw Sadie earlier today in Bloomies. She looked...uh...great, if that's the look you're going for.
Love your writing.

Quin said...

ah, sadie. enjoy time.. and i wonder if she dyes the cuffs to match.

golfwidow said...

I was torn between feeling sorry for her and jealous of her.

Ellen "EJ" Sackett, said...

Thank God my husband is sixteen years older and he's plumping up like I am and is just as unhappy about it too. I've been Sadie before, and I guess I should contemplate doing it again, but why? Cuz it's good for you, I guess. Sigh. ~ ej

jewgirl said...

if she's shtupping a younger pleasure plunger, what's bad?!

we share a deep and burning passion for food.

Marie said...

Madame Z-
LOVED your piece! If I ever become Sadie, please shoot me. I'll take the easy way out and get plastic surgery.........

Madame Goodrich said...


You are the best. Seriously, I always feel uplifted (or is it twisted?) after reading a piece from you. Sadie will make it in the end, after all, she gets her ass to the gym for the young piece of ass she gets after the gym.



Sometimes they call me Kelley, sometimes Twizzle. Sometimes a lot worse. said...

oh, hell. she should just go for the cake. :)

always love your writing madame z, this one no exception.