Jeff Foxworthy, Murdered

by Scotty Landes

Jeff Foxworthy was found dead today in his backyard. His body was crudely hidden under a pile of Budweiser and Milwaukee's Best beer cans. There are no suspects yet; however, local police believe an "on air" gaff recorded by Mr. Foxworthy may have disturbed some of his most loyal fans. Apparently, earlier this morning, Mr. Foxworthy visited the morning drive duo Dr. Creepy & Wayne Boy for a regular guest appearance. Following his interview Mr. Foxworthy's microphone was left on accidently. Here is a transcript of the mistaken broadcast: "I don't even like rednecks and I think they should all be shot for being so dirty, ugly, gay, and, let's face it, the least American people on the face of the earth!"


Scotty Landes was born in Maryland, went to college in Massachusetts, and now lives in Brooklyn.