Mindless Conversations

by Kimi Goodrich

After another night of faceless people, mindless conversations and too much wine, I stumble into my apartment wondering what the hell I was doing tonight anyway? I take off my stupid heels that at the beginning of the night made me feel sexy, now I just feel they are another piece in the game, so I throw them to the floor, kick them aside, and think, “Fuck those goddamn shoes anyway!” I make it into the bathroom and make the mistake of turning on a light, where the mocking reflection of myself is a joke. My makeup is smeared, my eyes are bloodshot and dead, my mouth turns slightly down, I look a hot mess and the reflection is a perfect vision of all the shit I hold inside of me. I turn away in disgust but the image pierces my mind, branding me a sad and lonely girl, with empty eyes and a full heart that is sure to implode without the proper outlet. Scenes from the night cascade around - laughing and grinning faces, big teeth with too many false hopes, too much fucking wine, too many stories about what isn't real and not enough listening to what is there, but I laughed with them, grinned my toothiest grin, drank the wine, followed along, but all along I wished I was anyplace but there because that place sucked, the night sucked and it had nothing to offer except the taunting reminder that I am better off alone.


Kimi Goodrich, author of The Invitation, never tires of obsessing. In fact, if analyzing things until they are dead and beaten were a contest, she surely would own that title. (But seriously, she is not a stalker.)


Anonymous said...

Love your writing.

beth said...

well written, kimi. such an all too familiar senario.