by The Flu
Hi, I’m The Flu. I’ve been in the news a lot lately, so I just want to clear up a misconception or two about who I am and what I do. First of all, I’m not associated with “projectile vomiting,” as I’ve heard some say. I don’t give you diarrhea either, so enough with that already. It’s become clear I need to start doing my own PR, so I’d like to stress that I’m a great excuse to take some time off work and just lie in bed, eat some Progresso and watch The Bachelor. So... you’re welcome, you ungrateful whiners!
The Flu, also known by its Italian surname "Influenza," is an infectious disease of birds and mammals caused by RNA viruses of the family Orthomyxoviridae. It lives everywhere.