Everything I Do Goes Viral

by Roman Starr

Funny, in beginning this little piece, my instinct is to introduce myself - a habit of breeding - but of course you already know who I am, so an introduction is completely unnecessary and perhaps somewhat birdbrained. Or "pea-brained," if you prefer a hyphenated brain barb. To my point - less than 30 hours ago, a stranger surreptitiously filmed me ordering a chai latte at a farmer's market and posted the footage to YouTube. It's been viewed over 60 million times. I don't seek the spotlight; it finds me, bathes me in golden, flattering light. Not that I need that, mind you, flattering light - I look amazing even under an unforgiving noonday sun.


Roman Starr is a character created by Doyle Bennett, who enjoys commenting on the inflated egos and shallowness of modern day teenagers (and twenty-somethings), and the amateurishness of "writers" impressed with the sound of their own borrowed, hackneyed words.