by Paul Nulman
The deli Merv went to five times a week to get a Twix bar was out of Twix bars. "What the fuck?" said Merv. "Hey, watch your language," said a customer with a kid. "Fuck your kid," said Merv, "and fuck you." "Fuck yooou!" said the kid. Just then, the new shipment of Twix bars arrived, and Merv kicked the box so hard that he broke a toe, and then the kid hit Merv with a wiffle ball bat - really cracked him hard over the head - and then some random woman in a yoga outfit yelled "Shalimar" for no apparent reason, and then, in Mars, PA, Rick Santorum announced with a smile that he was staying in the race.
Paul Nulman lives in Mars, Pennsylvania.