For the Benefit of Duds & Suds

by Oscar Halpert

I subscribe to a large number of magazines. I never seem to have time to read them. The weeklies are especially troubling. Every Monday, I get Time and Newsweek and all the rest. I tell myself, Self, you’re gonna read all this shit, and you’re gonna figure out what the hell’s going on in this world, and you’re gonna get smart and be able to swap cool stories at parties. Then I wind up tearing all the address labels off and donating the whole stack to my laundromat.


Oscar Halpert is very handsome. He lives in San Diego.