by Jessi Finn
English is his first language, but he pronounces "ar-chives" in the way the second syllable is said in describing the grass-green ingredient. It makes me laugh under my breath because he keeps saying it, without noticing how weird it is to me and, now, the girl sitting to my left. I wait for others to notice it in a way that makes them do the same as he continues his PowerPoint presentation. He is trying to be funny with sarcasm, but I cannot laugh at anything past this chosen pronunciation. He says it as if he is rebelling against the English language, without trying to. You can tell when he's passing a joke, his mind conscious of every shrug of choreographed passivity, yet he does not notice the funniest thing he has said in this quarter-hour presentation as it falls behind him.
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Jessi Finn is from Northeast Ohio, but she will not live there for much longer. Recently, she completed her journalism degree at Ohio University. You can find her online here.