20101016

Better

by Amanda Evans

My dad sexually abused me and my mom pretty much sold me into prostitution when I was 9. I had my first kid at 12 and now I’m 18 with 3 more, not to mention the 2 miscarriages. I used to have dreams of a happy future with a college education, a rich, loving husband, 2 well-behaved kids, a house in the suburbs and a vacation home on the beach. Now, I only dream of my next payday, my next fix, and hopefully an early death because life on the streets is hard without money, a decent high and a little bit of hope. When I found out a year ago that I had full-blown AIDS, I could only smile with relief, knowing the doctor at the free clinic must have thought I was crazy. For some, life is good, but for me death is better.

6S

Amanda Evans lives in Dallas, Texas. She's an accountant by day and an aspiring creative genius by night.