Inner Turmoil

by Ted Elrick

This year my employer is giving us Columbus Day off. My Native American side is offended. My Italian side is angry that I should feel this way. My Scottish side is determining how I can maximize that by combining it with other paid time off. My German side would like a beer to help in the deliberation. My Polish side wonders if I can have some kielbasa to go with that.


Ted Elrick is a freelance writer and author of "The Los Angeles River: Images of America."