20100114

Walkawhile

by Walter Conley

He thought that she was lazier than he was lame, so he challenged her to a walk. The start and finish line would be his garden, where the Potentilla atrosanguinea matched the belt-loops on her pants, but nothing else that either of them wore. Halfway around the house, she slumped into a hole and shattered her ankle. It took everything he had to pull her out. Both crippled now and spent, they crossed the edge of the garden in a dead-even draw. The flowers, without having done anything to further identify themselves with their surroundings, found that they matched not only the belt-loops on the woman's pants, but the blood in her left sock and splotches of color on the pairs' hot and huffy cheeks.

6S

Walter Conley can't remember where his work has appeared or even writing this story. He currently publishes the ezine disenthralled.

8 comments:

CJT said...

I love it Walter, what great tales you weave for us.

Michael Solender said...

intricate and just a bit twisted. fine telling.

Aisley Crosse said...

I really liked the simplicity of this piece and the way it came back to the flowers. Awesome work!

peggy said...

Walter, I too, liked the way the story circled back to the flowers. Intriguing friendship in these six sentences.

quin browne said...

you amaze me in your ability to tell a full story in a minimum amount of words... i am consumed with flash fiction writer's envy.

you amaze me in your ability to help a writer edit, create a place for them to find acceptance... i am consumed in thankfulness.

Absolutely*Kate said...

Ah Walter, I see the potentilla yellows, the splotchy crimsons and the lingering visionable -- the "hot and huffy cheeks". Deft brushstrokes, your challenged Walkawhile, most definitely enjoyed'a'longer'while. ~ Absolutely*Kate

missalister said...

Walter, oh Walter... This is double-barreled brilliant. It hits the core of humanity, the tragedy and the comedy of it. You are popular du jour, dude!

Paul D. Brazill said...

Very lovely, bittersweet loop.