by Jelena Vencl Ohlrogge

The mouse tastes good. It is crunchy and sturdy and it can be chewed for hours without deterioration of that initial feeling of satisfaction. I do not understand why you keep on choosing paper instead; my newspaper, for example, every morning, always the very page I am reading. Yes, I did chew on your mouse and I did try the paper, I am not just saying! The mouse is much better, and I stand firmly behind that statement; I am actually willing to take a lie detector test if you do not believe me. Yes, we may have different preferences, but I can read and you can't, so, please, let me read my newspaper in peace and go and chew on your mouse, or - learn how to read and then we can discuss this issue again.


Jelena Vencl Ohlrogge is a loving wife and a crazy cat lady who loves math, science, writing and painting. She lives in Stockholm, Sweden and blogs here.


quin browne said...

i am owned by one cat... she chooses to chew every single apple cord i have.

however, she also consumed the entire mouse, bringing me the skin.

i'm glad i'm not alone in my frustration.

Madam Z said...

I'm sorry to have to tell you this, Jelena, but no matter how eloquent and rational your argument, the cat will still chew on your newspaper.

Christian Bell said...

I am convinced my cat is not far from manipulating basic tools and reading, but I’m sure that he knows that I’m thinking this so he’s holding back from taking that next step.

The cat is in control--I’m comfortable with that.

Raquel said...

How cute. I enjoyed the read!



MDJB said...

Great fun. Took me a second or two to figure out who was speaking when the reader said "yes, I have chewed the mouse," but then I laughed and enjoyed the rest.

Anonymous said...

Jeanette Cheezum

I read this while laughing.
My daughter has three cats and they own her and her house.
Cute 6.

Jelena said...

Before we got cats, I thought that all those cat owners I met were so silly and not quite sane, measured by any standards, but I came to realize that cats are superior beings. My husband manages to disobey them now and then, but I am a hopeless case; I do as they command. All that I can is try to beat them with words. Not going that well so far.