Iceberg Lettuce

by Michael Kitzman

"On first dates, Africa doesn't count;" she told me this when I brought up the subject of places we'd each like to see. I thought about answering the question with a very smooth, but ultimately futile: Your apartment. She answered first though and said the south pole. She carried on and on about how cute penguins were, or rather, are. I couldn't listen anymore, not with my childhood flashing before my eyes; I got up and left. Penguins killed my father.


Michael Kitzman isn't important. Yet.