by Richard Longfellow, Jr.
This is a story for children - if you are not a child, you should not read this story. There once was a boy named Milo who lived with his mother and his sister and his uncle and his dog, and his dog’s name was also Milo, and the fact that his dog shared his name really bothered Milo; it made him sad. You might think it wouldn’t, but it did (as a matter of fact, it made him as sad as sad could be), and maybe you’re thinking, why would Milo name his dog Milo, especially if it makes him sad? The answer to that question is that you shouldn’t think so much, so knock it off, and remember, “living is easy with eyes closed,” just like John Lennon said. Anyway, one day, Milo the dog went missing, and you might think, based on the opening of this story, that Milo the boy wouldn’t be sad about Milo the dog going missing, but it did indeed make him sad, very sad (as a matter of fact, it made him as sad as sad could be). So right about now-ish, if you're looking for the moral to this story, it’s this: when you don’t follow directions, you waste your time - you’re NOT a child, yet you’re reading this story(!), so what the hell’s the matter with you?
Richard Longfellow, Jr. spends a majority of his time skipping stones on inappropriate surfaces. (Click here to make a donation to Richard, half of which will support 6S.)