Six Ways to Lose the Super Bowl

by Peter Farmer

Instead of tackling your opponent, make a sweeping gesture to your side and say, "Right this way, my good man!" Attempt 90-yard field goals. Bunt a lot. Play naked. Keep throwing passes to the fat chick in Section 24. Right before the game, trade your entire team to Hollywood for the cast of House.


Peter Farmer, who's never coached, likes the Steelers today. How about you? (Click here to make a donation to Peter, half of which will support 6S.)


John Tognino said...

Another 6 Ways to Lose the Super Bowl:

When you take a handoff, pose for a moment, like the Heisman Trophy (just to look cool). If you think you have the runback sewn up, start your endzone celebration dance at the 20-yard line. Make a pass at Jillian Barberie (if she’s “open”). For Rothlisberger: If Holmes is covered, look for Swan or Stallworth. Stage a wardrobe malfunction… just for the publicity. For Wisenhunt: If you have the lead at halftime, take a few minutes during the third quarter to do a commercial for Rogaine.

Kurt said...

Not sure what I like better - Peter's piece or John's comment!

Anonymous said...

I love this--such fun.

Jeanette Cheezum

Greg Santos said...

Funny piece. I love the opening sentence!

Kim said...

I know nothing about American football but I would watch if it were like this... thanx Peter