20130412

Gymnastics After School

by Leigh Robshaw

I'm wearing my tight royal blue sports pants and a tiny pink singlet. My breasts have only just begun to develop and I don't have any hair down there yet. When I asked for an ice cream he made me bend over so he could playfully spank me first – I let him 'cause I really wanted that ice cream. Now he's making me practice handstands with my hands on his shoulders while he's lying on his back on the gym mat (to help with my balance) and I keep falling on top of him and onto that warm hard bulge. He says I need extra help with my gymnastics routine so I'm ready to perform it at the school fete. A priest should know better.

6S

Leigh Robshaw is an Australian writer who hallucinates regularly. She imagines she has hair down to her bum and is a highly acclaimed author. She is not on drugs.

14 comments:

austere said...

Great last line.

Michael Solender said...

Gawd. I feel like such a dirty old man. Nubility rocks. great 6!

Kevin Michaels said...

Excellent. Hard and vicious with an excellent POV - well done.

Rachel Eldred said...

Beautifully written. Yeah, you can't beat that punch line! Creepy! Great job.

Linda said...

That last sentence 'nailed' her... er, it. Scary. Well-done. Peace, Linda

Celeste said...

Wow - a very powerful six sentences, Leigh. I got goosebumps at the end. Celeste

Susan's Snippets said...

Leigh -

Wonderfully written fiction...I hope.

otherwise call the pope

Anonymous said...

The narrator seems too aware of what's happening for me to believe she's oblivious, as I imagine she's supposed to be. The voice doesn't ring true.

Scarlett Rose said...

this is sad :(

nicely written though!

Madam Z said...

To "Anonymous" I will say this: The girl is a child. The man is a grown-up. The whole sorry tale is about him being the bad guy, not her being the bad girl. Please do not blame the victim, even the victim in a fictional story.

Signed,
Been there, had that done to me

quin browne said...

nice last line, and it does have foreshadowing in the rest.

Anonymous said...

Madam Z: my comment did not blame the girl. My comment was a comment on the writing, the ineffectiveness of the narrator's voice, which was unconvincingly written. I did not say the child seemed to know what was going on - I said the "narrator" seems aware of what's going on. Followed by "The voice doesn't ring true."

I'm sorry something happened to you that mirrors what happened to the girl, and I understand that may make you sensitive to something like "victim blaming," but I assure you, that's not what the comment was. This is a writing website; my comments are only on the writing.

Madam Z said...

Anonymous: Thank you for your thoughtful reply to my overly emotional little diatribe. At some level, I knew that your "comments are only on the writing." But, when emotion walks in the door, rationality flies out the window, at least in my house. So, to you and to the other readers of this very enjoyable "writing website," I offer my apologies for reacting inappropriately.

Tony said...

Excellent, I didn't even last six seconds.