by Patrick Daubert
I keep forgetting to zip my fly after using public restrooms, with mixed results. Sometimes my penis will peek out and get cold, because it's cold out now. A dude might say, "Bro, your fly," or some wary female will catch me mid-zip and smile, point and laugh. I forget in the mirrors; I'm stopped by the ghoul looking back, sucked dry and left pasty by the flat overhead lighting. I'll oftentimes forget to wash my hands, too, but I'm always ready with hand sanitizer and will remember to eradicate potentially devastating germs before I notice the open hatch. I'm not sorry about this habit anymore; I bumped into my true love today and she grabbed me by the pecker and tucked him in, zipping my fly so quick and deft that, had he been out, there'd be none of him left.
Patrick Daubert attends the University of Rochester. He is just now starting to write - this is his very first published piece.