20081206

Butterflies on the Rocks

by Scot Young

She has a nightly habit of dropping coasters and half damp books of matches between the tables. As a solicitation of higher tips she bends over knees locked and picks them up, putting them back on the tray always casually giving me a sideways glance. This routine inevitably allows me to catch a glimpse of just the edge of lace on her red panties stretched tight against her silk bronze skin. Like a downtown dancer after one revolution around the pole she spins, leans over the bar with her new breasts still sore from surgery and slowly adds ice to a drink. I study her calves as she leans forward and watch the bar clock slowly tick away seconds of Saturday Night Lonely. Quietly, I stir my drink and practice folding dollar bills into origami butterflies.

6S

Scot Young, back in July, took us for a ride on The F Line.

17 comments:

Joe said...

Wonderful descriptive narrative on this one. A great six. Where is this bar?? LOL Killer title.

David said...

Killer six.

Ian said...

Nice, felt like I was in that bar. Re the butterflies (yep, great title), probably all dollar bills are good for these days.

Caren said...

Nicely done. Love your title!

mgirl said...

Great six, so descriptive and I agree with the others, awesome title.

Kim said...

really like the sentence about her new breasts... you have to wonder how far she will go. Awesome 6 would expect nothing less from Mr Young.

Anonymous said...

funny she is just as lonely as you...maybe you two will hook up in the next 6?
Can't wait!

Scot said...

Thank you all for commenting. Always appreciated.

Nathan said...

Great piece Scot. You've got a way with the details.

shootsandvines said...

Love this piece, Scot. Good work.
Crystal

paulbrazill said...

Lovely stuff Scot

christine said...

I like how the lines lead us ever closer to what the speaker sees and reacts to. Great idea for a web site.

Kevin said...

i suspect you've done this before ^_^

paisley said...

you have worked this theme from every possible angle... i am expecting the novel to be out soon......

Raven's Wing Poetry said...

I love the narrative on this. I could see you and her in the bar. Interestingly, your description of her made me start to drool. Nice job.

-Nicole

Julie said...

Beautiful, Scot! This is one of my all-time favorite Six Sentences ever. I have to agree with everyone else about the title. It is fantastic and fits perfectly. I love the beautiful sadness, too.

Scot said...

Thank yOu everyone for the kind words!
NICOLE, what can I say...
thanks Julie for reading--