Things I Do Every Thanksgiving

by Rex Hinman

Tap my glass with a knife, then make a long, boring, poorly-worded (though sincere) toast. Watch the Lions lose. Call my father-in-law “El Douche-o Supreme-o” (under my breath). Watch Planes, Trains & Automobiles. Remember my father. Fart like a maniac.

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Rex Hinman wishes you and yours a Happy Turkey Day.